I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
