i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she told me i tasted like america
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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