Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
