you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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