Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
