Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
if only i could text you this smell
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
