I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
