ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
