You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
