Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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