Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
