I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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