Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Someone came in the potted fern
MIDGETS
????
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
