i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
