it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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