we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
