is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
