Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
