Kiss
Puke
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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