im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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