You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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