what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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