I think im going to throw up on grandma
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
