i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
