Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
