y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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