our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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