I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
