covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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