party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
