what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
