So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
