they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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