Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
