Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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