Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
