He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she smelled like a LAN party
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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