goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
