Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
