i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
