Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
