I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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