how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
