they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
