So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
