I don't think brook has ever known best
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
