i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
