in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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