Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I understand Curling. That high.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
