I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
